I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
