perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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