he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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