She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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