I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
