I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
