I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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