If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I want to be your penis for a week.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize