i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
