Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
