I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
