I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
