How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize