i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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