sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
