Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
