dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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