I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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