i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
