My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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