I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
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