what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She's the barista slut.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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