Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
