I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
