I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
