I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
