There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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