we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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