then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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