I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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