How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
