He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
