Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
