yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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