We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
