My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
