Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
