Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
