the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I can't turn off my feet"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
