You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize