Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize