why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
