Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
