i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Randomize
