If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I will pee on everything he values.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize