Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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