I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
