it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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