she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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