I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
