now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
