people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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