For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
