Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize