i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
