he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
