Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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