doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
