I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
