i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
tell me about the eggs
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
