Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
This baby is an asshole
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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